“Positivity. I’m surrounded by positivity. People who want me to feel loved. I’m two day’s in and most of the hiking we’ve done is uphill. I’m pretty sure this is the highest altitude I’ve ever been at, outside of plane rides. It’s been so good…other than the nasty blister on my left big toe. I’m hiking in a group of people made up of Amy’s old trail mates. There’s eight of us in total: Ian, Shoe, CM, David, Kelsi, Jul, Amy, and I.
David has been letting me stay in his tent because Amy and Jul’s three person tent was designed for contortionists. David is incredibly kind. Come to think of it, everyone here is….”
That was a portion of my journal entry from August 29th 2017, two days into my Yosemite trip. It’s been a few weeks since the trip and I think about it often. I think about the way I felt on the trip, the happiness and gratefulness, the disconnect from the outside world. I’m grateful for the time I got to spend in Yosemite. Since I got back the feelings of peace have been fading and replaced with exhaustion.
When I got back to my apartment on September 3rd, I had a full day before I had to go back to work. I took that time and wrote a journal entry that I (a bit dramatically) titled “A Moment of Clarity.” It’s way too honest to share here, but in that moment I knew I was in a special headspace and I needed to talk my future self, a future self who was outside of that headspace. I wrote six rules for my future self to read and follow. Oddly enough I haven’t followed a single one since I wrote them down.
These last few weeks have been difficult, but I’ve rediscovered those six rules, written in a clear mind, and I’ve worked on applying them. Things are getting better.
I write this Thought and Photos, partly to document the trip, but also as an attempt to relive it.